It seemed like I had been falling apart a little more than was good if I wanted to play the long game. At 54, I came to Mexico for a reboot…a life-hack…whatever you want to call it. Time there marked shifts toward a better way forward at this stage of life and one step was an afternoon with Jesus de Curandero.
COFEPRIS, he Mexican health ministry, recognizes that medicine moves faster than the Mexican government. Here, unless COFEPRIS specifically forbids something, then it us legal to use if the doctor thinks a treatment benefits the patient. Examples of that approach include the fact that typical prescriptions, like blood pressure medicine, are available without a prescription. Conversely, the US FDA has to specifically allow a Pharma product, procedure or service for medical professionals to be able to deliver the health service. Each country is an enlightened opposite.
Notably, traditional healing is very much alive in Mexico. One story has a new Mexican friend returning from a week of camping with his girlfriend. They spent part of their time hunting peyote, which he believes is a holy medicine and also a living animal. Turns out that you have to hunt peyote to make sure you and the right button find each other. “Hunting” and “medicine” have bigger meanings in Mexico.
Dr. Jesus el Curandero has a very simple office of painted concrete block that faces a park in a typical Puerto Vallarta family neighborhood. He sat me down and asked the normal doctor questions. Then, he examined my pulse, and most especially, my eyes. He spent most of our hour together shining a pen light in my eyes as he looked at them through a magnifying glass as intensely as a lab tech holding a needle.
Dr. Jesus filled out an iridology chart, which for lack of a better description, was a coloring book drawing of my eyes, where each area is associated with a part of the body. His diagnosis was accurate but he attributed causation in unique ways.
Our visit moved on to cures. His enthusiasm about cures—as a true believer—still holds me. My takeaways were a vividly informative pamphlet and a barky tisane. The pamphlet says what most Americans already know…we don’t eat well, sleep enough, exercise frequently or manage stress well. Recommendations on his website include:
“Avoid disappointments, anger, violent arguments, fits of anger, restlessness, uncontrolled passions, feeling depressed, sadness and anxiety.”
Dr. Jesus tested my saliva PH at 5.5, which he says is dangerously acid and typical of a body with chronic inflammation. In the western sense, there is supporting research that PH is key to aging.
He concluded that my body age is older than my chronological years, which no one wants to hear. Then, he looked at the iridology chart he had been annotating and changed gears. According to certain iris measurements Dr. Jesus said he was surprised I wasn’t rich already, something everyone wants to hear. Then he said not to worry because I would be rich soon.
I paid the bill, which in total was less than $15 USD. The $5 prescription medicine was a bottle of Mexico Holistico Botanica Medica Compuesto called El 5 Mujeres, (translated as 5 Mothers Mexican Holistic Botanical Medicine). The label on this "herbal tea for the nervous system" says it helps with “neurosis, stress, anxiety, insomnia, hypochondria, fear and depression”. Directions are to use a pinch per hot cuppa.
The first sip brings thoughts that this had better be good for me because it smells like hot gym socks and tastes like fluted cardboard. But, being richer seemed like as good a side benefit as any to give more attention to my health. Of all the things Dr. Jesus shared that day, perhaps this last was the most helpful. He said I had hope.
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